deserted by hope fogoten by love
by lovesXherXvampires
Summary: edward has left again after hering bellas news. he goes back to forks ten years later only to hope bella's alright. shes not. edward loses his mind and goes to italy. his past is thare only to taunt him on his death bed.lemon! exb axj emxr cxes
1. Chapter 1

**Ch. 1 Love me.**

"Oh, come on Edward! I've agreed to marry you and that's a big step, right after high school. Can't you do this one thing for me?" I whined.

Edward looked at me from across the meadow. "We have had this conversation. What, five times, today?" He started to walk towards me. "And the answer I have given you from the very beginning is no. Why can't you understand? I can break you. Remember the first night, the flower I crushed? I couldn't live with myself if I killed you." The last sentence was a whisper. I placed my hand upon his cold cheek and he covered it with his own hand.

"You won't hurt me! You can't!" I looked in to his burning topaz eyes.

"I won't do this. I want you to have a human life until AFTER we're married." Emphisizing on "after".

"This is a part of my human life I want to endure", I said, hoping he would waver. To seal the deal I reached up and pulled him in to a passionate kiss. My hands tangled in his bronzed hair, his hands were half-way up my shirt when he pulled away.

"If you get hurt, I'm going to Italy. I can't stand life with out you again." then he nuzzled his face in to the crook of my neck. "Yes", I screamed inside my head. He started to pull my shirt over my head and I glanced at his eyes. They were fine, dark from lust. He hunted yesterday. That's why I miss him so much. To only have him in my presence made the hole go away in my chest. I notched that I was completely nude and Edward was pulling down silk, black boxers. There he was in all his glory, sparkling like dimond dust in the middle of our meadow.

"Are you ready?", he asked. I was breathless to him. I was like an insignificant bug; but him... everything was enhanced. I nodded. He walked over to me and layed me down on the soft flowers.

"Are you sure?", he asked. Lust, love, and compassion was shown in his eyes.

"Yes, my Edward.", I felt a fire start in the middle of my body. He gently spread my legs and move up slightly.

He looked at me, and I nodded for him to continue. I felt him move himself to me and I started to cry. He froze.

"Keep going its normal." He nodded and proceeded. At first it hurt so bad, like I was being ripped appart, then it started to get enjoyable. I panted ferociously. Edward captured my mouth almost every time I moaned. A growing noise was coming from his chest. I ran my hand up and down his well toned abs and the growling rose in his chest. I took that as he liked it. My body starting convulsing, tightening around him. I couldn't breathe, I dug my nails in his back. He stiffened inside of me as our hips rocked harder and faster and completely in sync. I felt it coming, my climax. I knew he was close by the growling had rose in to his throat. Edward looked at me and with one last thrust I closed my eyes and screamed in pleasure. Edward roared, his body shaking as he filled me. Finally we both were done, Edward collapsed on me grabbing my breasts, giving them both a treatment. I moaned.

"Bella, I love you.", He said rolling off and laying right beside me.

"I love you more, thank you", I got up and put my clothes on. Edward helped me into them. He made putting clothes on very sexy.

"What do you want to do now?" he asked flinging me on to his back.

"I don't know. Let's go to your house. I'm sure they are waiting", I said and blushed. I noticed Edward grimmace.

Alice must of saw what went on and met me on the porch bouncing up and down. The very sight of her made me blush, knowing she saw everything.

"Are you okay? Do you hurt?", said Alice. Concern flashed threw her eyes.

"Alice, can I put her down before you ask the questions?" Edward asked, putting me in the grip of Alice.

"Eddie!", Emmit yelled as Edward walked through the door. The look on Edward's face was a mix of a grimmace and hate.

"Do you have to say that?", moaned Edward.

Alice and I laughed. We went up to her room and locked the door. Alice sat up straight on her bed, her eyes misted over. Something was happening. She finally relaxed and looked at me. A huge smile spread across her face.

"Bella, you're pregnant!!!!" she yelled in happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

**if you liked it review it. sorry for the spelling. ive noticed i havent had a disclamer so heres one.**

**i do not own any thing of stephnie meyers im not that brillant.**

**thare that goes for the other chapters. now you cant get mad**

**bpov**

"I cant be no no no no." i kept shouting. i jumped of the bed and started to pace the floor. _this cant be happening edward cant get me pregnate_. i kept saying in my head. i finaly got what i wanted and now for being some lusty skank like jessica i get punished. i dont mind having children, ive allways wanted some but so soon.

here i am thinking all about myself and what will this mean for edward, charlie, mom. oh god help me threw this.

"bella stop its ok this happens, never with a vampire, but it happens." alice said holding my face now staring at me with those topaz eyes. edward then decided to open the door with a goofy grin on his face. slowly his grin melted away.

"is everything alright?" he shut the door and walked towards where we were standing, alice was still holding my face. alice looked at me and nodded and sat on her bed. i grabed edwars cold marble hand and led him to his room. confusion flashed across his face. my chest hurt from tighting and my raped heard rate(i was very sure he could here it). "bella" he demanded "what is going on here why are you acting like this whats wrong." he was angry from not being able to read my thoughts and scared because my scilence. i had him sit on the bed and i shut the door. he was watching my every move. i was on the verge of tears. i know edward wanted a family but so soon? will he leave?could i take it again? so manny thoughts. the only soloution was to talk to edward.

"bella whats wrong your about to cry" damn these tears. i took a huge breath enough to make me dizzy. and let it out.

"edward" i paused to take in his face composed but his eyes held compassion and love, but balenced by fear and sadness.

"yes bella" he was getting impationt. i knealed in front of edward grabing his hands with my own.

"im pregnate." i said a wisper and then burst in to tears. edward stiffen at the word and stood up. alice ran in to the room just as he left.

"come ill take you home." she wisperd. we walked out of the house and got in to her porche.

"alice is he going to be alright" i wisperd knowing she can here me. "i dont know hes talking to carlisle now" she turned and parked behind the cruser letting me out.

"thank you" i said she nodded sadly and drove off. i stood thare looking in the direction edward left me in the wood to the side of the house. charlie came out side on to the porch.

"bells that you" i turnd and walked in passed him. " bella are you ok" he asked always afraid i might decide to go zombie on him again.

"yeah dad im fine just tired and hungry" i said that not being the case food was far from my mind but what the hell, if im having a baby lets feed it. "thares pizza in the refrigerator" he hollered from the tv room. i ate it cold and and took a shower. i kept looking at my belly wondering how it happend and rubed it. _pregnate_. i voinlently shook my head. ugh. ive been to health class in sixth grade and knew sex ed. i should of gotten condoms. i slamed the water off and got dressed brushed my hair, teeth and went in to my room. i read a few pages from wuthering heights and went to sleep.

i was awaked to a cold marble hand gently shaking me. i looked up to see edward his expression scared me. he was sad.

"bella we need to talk"

**Clifhanger if you dont like them then review!!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**My dearest appoligies im sooo sorry ive decided that this is the one im going to contenue right now the others will have to wait sorry. i didnt get to move and im sorry loyal readers to have you wait so long. well enough rambling.**_

_**the rest of the storie is in Edwars pov and sorry for mistakes gramar and punuation and such.i dont own annything**_

I thought this over in my head a hundred times and and still couldnt get it right. _well dip shit stay._ emmetts voice rang threw my head as i walked threw the door.

i had to leave. i would wait until the child was older and come back. i always had to control my strengh and i could verry well hurt our child.

befor i knew it i was running to bellas house to tell her i will be back when the time was right. from out side her sent was strong and told me she just got out of the shower. i gracefully jumped up in the tree and in to her window.

i looked around greif hitting me hard in the gut. _would this be the last time i would been in this room. _my felling were scatterd i was happy i have a child sad about what i have to do angry because i knew we needed protection and i acted like an animal. numb...im about to lose my heart again. i hope she will forgive me again and have a normal life maby jacob could care for her.

"bella we need to talk" i placed my hand on her shoulder. she turned and looked at my eyes. she knew what was comming.

"look edward your not goint to hurt anyone" her voice and eyes pleaded.

"no i cant i will come back for you just when the child is older, i cant stand the idea of me hurting it" regret burning my throught more than the burn of hunger.

"you wont" she jumped out of bed wearing one of my shirts."please dont leave me" she droped down on her knees."not again" she wisperd. it pained me more than any thing in the world.

"good bye bella my love" i said taking my leave out the window and ran home her sobs the last thing i heard come from her beauitiefull lips.

_**i know these are verry short but its not ment to be a verry long story. i accept annything flames comments messages ect. make me happy:**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**10 years later this is the last chapter it was going to be three more but i decided to get this thing done enjoy**_

i am hoping she forgot about me and moved on with her life. i am hoping that she cared for her self and has a life on her own.

"i can only hope" i wisperd to my self. we passed the forks sign and i was allready bouncing in my seat. i would get to see bella again. yesterday is the first in ten years i have seen my family. except alice and jasper they are in italy.

" i will see you in a little bit at the house everyone." i said as carlisle smiled and waved. i walked up to bellas old house. she wasnt thare. nobody was thare its been empty for years. i ran to la push i could no longer smell jacob. i turned and ran to the cematary i ran down each isle.

**ISABELLA MARIE SWAN **

carved into a head stone the date was a week after i left.

i fell to my knees "i should of been thare i could of saved her." it started pouring it was cold. cause of death was unbeliveable. attacked by a bear. no no NO NO! all emotion left my body. excitement i felt earler made me feel like an idiot. i survived knowing she was alive and healthy. it was all a lie. i couldnt live anny more. i ran to the house every one standing at the porch wating to see bella once again even rose. i hugged them all.

"good bye" i ran off before i could see esme break down in dry sobs. italy here i come.

voterra was in front of me the large castle. i walked up the steps and vampire gaurds opend the door. i went straigt to aro and pleaded my request.

"edward my child would you please concider joining me.?" hope in he crimson eyes.

"no i cant live anny more and if i were to join you i would commit suicide and only disapoint you." i said. it was the truth i could not go on with out bella alive or thinking she was alive.

"fine threw that chamber four doors to the left down the hallway and the door on the end down the stairs. fair well edward" he smiled obviously hiding something but my mind wasnt really working right and he was blocking his thoughts. i followed the directions and found myself at a stone slab. i sat on it and waited to join my angel.

_**sorry but i have to end it here subspence!! reviews**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**LAST ONE I PROMIS. thank you for the reviews i have gotten.**_

"edward cullen" a menicing females voice came from behind me. i tryed to read her mind and found i couldnt. wait? her sent was familar but differnt at the same time. i turned to a black robed figure her hair hung out of the hood. it was too dark even for me to see her features, the only feature i saw were pearcing crimson eyes looking at me with hate.

"so what are you here for edward?" the voice dripping with acid.

"i want to die i cant live any longer with out a heart." still looking at the figure i spilt my guts "i killed her" i wispered. a bell like sound filled the air and i noticed she was laughing.

"yes you fool you killed her and created a monster." she said moving twards me " dont you know who i am"

"no" i wisperd "i dont know who you are" she laughed again. for some reason i could listen to her laugh all day. she touched my shoulder.

"look at me hard" she pulled back her hood and all the air was sucked out of me. bella.

"bella bella is that you?" i jumped up and looked at her. pale skin sharpned features crimson eyes.

"sit, dont touch me and dont talk, i will tell you my storie before i kill you." she walked away into the darkness. kill me?

"no bella i found you i dont want to die!" i yelled. she looked at me "be good and i might change my mind." i sat and waited.

"two days after you left i told charlie. he called renee and she came up to stay untill i had the baby." she touched her stomach and smiled " on the way from the air port they were arguing and hit jacob in his wolf form. everyone died i went to thair funeral a day later and phil went to austraila. i did every thing in my room besides shower and the restroom. i was craving a rare stake and ate it in my room. the blood was dilicious. i was taking my plate and silverware down stairs i tripped on the knife and my stomach landed on it straight on and killed the babby but released it venom and after three aggonizing days i planed my own death. i was 'eatin by a bear'. i even went to my own funeral." what woried me the most is that she was smiling while telling me this. she looked at me and smiled.

"i came here to die i lost the love of my life my child and the rest of the family but i had a better idea why not get revenge on you." i looked at her i was sure i looked like a fish out of water, i wouldnt blame her. " aro found out i had amazing gifts and asked me to be the executioner. at first i couldnt stand it after i killed a human or vampire i would lock my self away for days, until i had to feed. eventuly it became enjoyably the rush, now i enjoy my job." she smiled showing her fangs. i was flabergaseded this was not the bella i had know but on the outher hand i ,like she said, 'created a monster' "well edward i loved you but you made me hurt one to many time so ive decided to kill you"

SHE WAS GOING TO KILL ME! "bella" she was walking twards me " i love you" i was panicing i didnt want to die i just found her and she wanted to kill me.

"edward love isnt every thing." she stood right in front of me and pushed me down on the slab. a loud bam went threw the dungon of my marble skin hitting the slab. she crawled over me and stradled my waist. a smirk playing on her full lips she leanded down and wisperd in my ear "you may have the power to read minds but i have the power of telikiniese and im the only vampire to be able to kill another with out ripping then to shreads but for you i probly will." wha... her mouth coverd mine in a passionate kiss my mouth not wasting a second and instantly reacted to hers. her tounge went across my lip asking for entrance i didnt hesatate. i tried to move my arms to tangle them in her silky hair but i found that i couldnt move. she ended the kiss and places both of her hands over my face." bella...i l..love you forever." i said if i could cry i would. she moved her hands away and looked at me sad in a way "i was forgotten by love and deaerted by hope edward good bye."

she placed her hands over my face and i blacked out. for the first time in a hundred years i felt like i was asleep. i dreamed of bella my family and if i had a chance to meet my child, good bye bella my love.

_**the end tell me if you like it or hate it i dont care i just want a responce from my readers and criticim and flames are welcome.**_


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